Jill the Night Watcher
by SuperSonicSmash
Summary: Jill takes stealing way too far and is assigned to be a night watcher


One morning during lunch at the Smash Mansion, Jill Drill stole some soup from Zelda. Zelda was chasing Jill all around the lunchroom trying to get her soup back.

"You get back here, you little thief!" Zelda yells.

"Nyah! Nyah! Nyah, nyah! Nyah!" Jill shouts. Then she pulls down her eye and sticks out her tounge.

Zelda then uses her magic to change into Sheik, then teleports in front of Jill. Jill becomes surprised and tries to run away but Sheik held her in her arms. Sheik takes her soup from her hand. She then lets go of Jill, turns back into Zelda and puts the soup back onto the tray. She then says, "You know, I've had enough of you. After lunch, you're coming with me."

Jill then laughs. "Not happening," she taunts, then continues laughing. Zelda then pinches her ear and repeatedly says, "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow..."

"You are coming with me whether you like it or not," Zelda retorts.

After lunch, Zelda and Jill go to Master Hand's office. "I'd like to see Master Hand, please," Zelda says.

"Pi. Pichu, Pichu. (OK, I'll let him know.)" Pichu says. "Pichu. Pichu, Pi, Pichu. (Master Hand, Zelda would like to see you.)

"OK, bring her in," Master Hand says.

"Pi. (OK.)" A door then opens, allowing access to Master Hand's office. "Pi-chu, Pi. (You may enter.)"

Zelda replies , "Thank you."

Zelda and Jill then enter Master Hand's office. Master Hand then sees Zelda. "So, what can I do for you?" Master Hand asks. Then he sees Jill. He then sighs. "What has she stolen, this time?"

"She has stolen my soup during lunch." Zelda says.

Master Hand sighs. "Zelda, is it okay that I talk to Jill alone?"

"Yes, it is." Then she leaves.

"Jill, I am tired of you stealing things from everybody."

"So? I'm a thief. Get used to it," Jill says.

"I know how to stop it, little lady. You are going to become a night watcher."

Jill laughs hysterically. "Are you kidding? I ain't being a night watcher."

"Yes, you are. And your hours will be from 8:00 to 11:00"

"And what if I refuse?"

"Then you will be prohibited to be in battle until after the next tournament. And you will not be allowed to use your Drill Dozer. In addition to the rules, you cannot steal from anybody. You do that, and you will be banned from the Smash Mansion."

"Not happening, man. See ya." Jill gets ready to go, but then Master Hand points at her and she gets shocked.

"You were saying?" Master Hand comments.

Jill growls, "Fine, I'll do it."

Jill goes to her room to use her Drill Dozer Communicator. "Jill? You OK, honey?" Jill's dad, Doug, asks.

Jill sighs, "No, dad, I'm not okay."

Gearmo butts in, saying, "What's wrong, cutie."

Jill retorts, "Call me 'cutie' again, and I'll beat your insides out."

"Okay, okay, I get it, Boss. You don't like that nickname."

"I don't like nicknames, period."

"Then, why do you let your dad call you 'honey'?"

Grutch comes in, saying, "Isn't it obvious, Gearmo?"

Jill finishes it. "He's my dad, genius."

Grutch resumes explaining, "Since he's her dad, he can call her anything she wants."

"Anything but 'sweetie'."

Doug comes back in, "That's right. If I call her that, she'll slap me in the face."

"Yeah. Anyway, guys, can I be alone with my dad?"

"Sure, go ahead" "Yeah, whatevs."

Doug resumes the previous conversation, "So, what's wrong, honey."

Jill replies, "Master Hand made me a night watcher."

"What? Why?"

"Because I stole a lot of stuff from everyone."

"Aw, that's my little girl."

"Dad, that's bad."

"Why?"

"Because the next time I steal, I'll be banned from Super Smash Bros."

"Ooh, that is bad. Is there a way to get out of it?"

Jill sighs, "Unfortunately, no."

Doug sighs after, "Well, sorry, honey, but, I can't help you there."

"I know. I just needed to talk to calm me down."

"Alright, sw- Oh!"

"Safe!"

Both Jill and her dad laugh.

8:00 P.M

Jill comes out of the dressing room wearing the night watcher uniform which consists of a blue-white shirt with a matching skirt. Wears white knee socks with blues shoes and a hat with a SSB emblem-like badge on it. Plus, she doesn't have her bangs.

Roy then comes in after her. "Dude, this is humiliating."

"Coming from someone who stole my hair gel, that's to be expected," Roy comments.

Jill chuckles, "What kind of guy wears hair gel?"

"I do. Okay here are the rules. 1: Make sure the kids are asleep."

"Great. Then that means that after this, I can go to sleep."

"Not exactly, since you are a night watcher, that doesn't apply to you."

"D'oh!"

"2: Make sure everyone else is at their specific bedtimes."

"Which are…?"

"Shown on this clipboard. 3: Don't steal anything from anyone. And I mean ANYONE, including me."

"Yeah, I expected as much."

"Any fractures on these rules and you will be punished."

Jill gulps. If she disobeys the rules, she won't be able to be in battles nor have access to her Drill Dozer.

"I'll leave everything to you, Jill."

"A-A-Alright…" Jill said nervously.

10:15 P.M

Jill muttering to herself, "Alright, so far, Toon Link, Kirby, Ness, Lucas, Popo, Nana, Kat, Ana, Jeff, and Stafy are all asleep, Marth, Roy, Ike, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Sonic, Shadow, Lyn, Mac, Red and the other Pokémon, Knuckle Joe, Falcon, Goroh, who was hard to get in bed, Wario, Waluigi, and Tingle are all in bed. Right now should be Snake, Samus, and Gray Fox. First, Snake and Gray Fox."

Jill goes directly to the Metal Gear room. "Yo! Snake! Gray Fox! Time for bed!"

Gray Fox comes out. "Sorry, little girl-"

Jill growls.

"Sorry." He resumes. "Snake's over at Aran's place. But thanks for the heads up."

Jill then goes to Samus's room. "Samus! Snake! Time for bed!"

No reply.

Jill bangs on the door, yelling, "Didn't you hear me? It's time for bed!"

Again, no reply. Jill then puts her ear on the door. She hears something.

She opens the door. "Okay, what is going o-"

When she enters the room, she sees both Samus and Snake kissing, naked. Jill becomes shocked. She screams her head off. She suddenly felt sick. She ran to the restroom, occasionally spilling puke on the floor. When she gets there, she finds a toilet, and then vomits her guts out.

After Jill is done, she comes out of the restroom, jittering and eyes bugging out. She walks slowly to the dressing room, gets her clothes back on, goes to her room, puts on her pajamas, and tries to sleep. But, every time she goes to sleep, she envisions Snake and Samus naked. Every time that happens, she wakes up and screams.

In the morning, Jill was ordering her breakfast, her eyes still bugging out with veins, still jittery. While she was going to her seat, her food was about to go off her tray.

Nana noticed Jill and was worried about her. She took her seat and decided to join her. "Hey, Jill. What's wrong?" asked Nana

Jill mumbled in gibberish.

"Let me guess, you saw Snake and Samus naked and that scared the heck out of you."

Jill mumbled in agreement.

"Yeah, you've gotta expect that with Snake and Samus since they're now in love."

After mentioning that, Jill suddenly disappeared.

While she was running back to her room, she bumps into Samus.

"Hey, Jill," Samus says.

Jill then envisions Samus naked. She then screams then heads for her room in terror.

"What's with her?" Samus inquires.

Nana replies, "She saw you naked with Snake."

"She saw me having sex with Snake!" She then groans in awkwardness. "Apparently, I need to calm her down."

Master Hand's office

"Pi? (Yes?)" Pichu asks.

"M-m-m-m-master H-h-h-h-hand, p-p-p-p-please," Jill stutters.

"Hold on, I've got a better idea," Mewtwo says. "Hold out your hand."

"O-o-o-o-okay."

"Hmm…" Mewtwo wonders. "You seem to be afraid of something."

"Mm-hmm."

"It involves Snake and Samus."

"Yes."

"And you saw them naked."

Jill squeals.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Jill runs back to her room.

At her room, she sees Samus in there. She screams, "Get out! Get out! Get out!"

Samus says, "Jill, I want to talk to you."

"GET OUT!"

Samus then leaves, worried.

The Drill Dozer Communicator then beeps. Jill walks to it. "Yes?" she says.

"Jill, honey, I heard what happened," Doug says.

"What? How?"

"One of your friends told me."

"Samus."

"Yeah, I think that was her name."

_Flashback_

Entering Jill's room, Samus looks around. "Jill? Jill? You in here?" Samus asks.

The Drill Dozer Communicator goes off.

"Snake, if this is your way of flirting with me, it's not working right now," Samus says.

Snake comes in. "Baby, I'm over here," Snake comments.

"Then if that's not you, then…"

The Communicator goes off again.

"I think it's coming from over here," Snake says.

"Yeah," Samus agrees.

Samus turns on the Communicator.

"Hey, honey, how was the first night?" Doug asks.

"Who is this?" Samus asks.

"I should ask you the same thing. Where's Jill?"

"I thought she was in her room."

"She's probably still worried about being a night watcher."

"Actually, quite the opposite."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Samus Aran. And you are?"

"Doug Drill. Father of Jill Drill."

"You're Jill's dad?"

"Yes, yes, I am. You must be a friend of hers."

"No, not really. Right now, she's afraid of me."

"Why?"

"Last night, as a night watcher, she saw me having sex with my date."

"Time for me to leave," Snake interrupted.

"Okay, honey," Samus said.

"After hearing that, I wouldn't blame her for being scared. She's still young."

"Yeah, that's true."

"I think it's best if I talk to her alone."

"Okay."

_End of Flashback_

"Why did you talk to her, dad?"

"Well, I figured it would be best now that we had 'the talk'"

"You mean the 'thief' talk?"

"No, the 'talk' talk."

"What kind of talk is that?"

"Maybe if I come there, I'll explain."

"OK."

_Now entering from Drill Dozer universe: Doug Drill_

"Dad!"

"Jill!"

"C'mon. Let's go to your room."

"Okay."

"Jill, it's time we had the talk." Doug states.

"What's it about?"Jill asks.

"Well, when a boy and a girl like each other very much," Doug begins.

"Oh, boy. This is not gonna be pretty."

"No, no, it's not. You see… It's hard to explain. You see, these two really like each other,"

"So, they get naked and kiss in bed and freak the kid looking in there out."

"Well, that's the thing. They don't want that kid there. See, they're kind of like us thieves."

"Stealing stuff behind other people's backs?"

"OK, let's go with that. Now, they want more of that."

"How?"

"You're too young to understand. Isn't that right, Ma'am?"

"What?"

Jill goes to open the door and sees Samus outside.

Jill screams, "What are you doing here!"

Samus replies, "I was worried about you."

"Let me guess, you're Samus?" Doug asks.

"Yes, I am. And you must be Doug. Nice to meet you," Samus says.

"You, too."

"And I agree that Jill is too young to learn about," she gestures to Doug to come to her and then whispers, "sex."

"But what about you naked with Snake?" Jill inquires.

"Your date is a snake?" Doug asks.

"Not exactly," the girls answer together.

"By the way, I've got an idea," Samus says.

"What is it?" Jill asks.

"How about you take a bath with me tonight?"

"Ew! No!"

"This might be a good idea for you to see people of your kind naked." Doug comments.

"Huh?" The girls ask.

"Girls."

"Ohh…"

"No." Jill answers.

"Yes." Samus answers back. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go ask Master Hand."

Jill screams, "No. No! NO!"

Jill and Samus were both in the Mansion Bathroom, both wearing their birthday suits.

"Don't drag me in there!" Jill resumes screaming.

"You are coming in here to see just me naked." Samus yells back.

"I am not going in there with you and you can't make me!"

"Wanna bet!"Samus lets Jill go. She then runs to the door but Samus beats her there.

"Outta my way!" No matter where Jill went, she kept getting blocked.

"You wanna keep doing this?"

"No!" Jill thought about it, then said, "Fine!"

Both were in the tub. "I'm not talking to you," says Jill.

"Alright. Then I'll do all the talking," Samus replies back. "Jill, I'm sorry that you saw me having sex with Snake. I didn't see you outside my door. Nor did I know that you became a night watcher. Regardless, I'm sorry you had to see that. So, Jill, please, accept my apology."

Nothing.

Samus sighs. "All right. I'm sorry you had to go through this." She then gets out dries herself, and puts on a robe. "Just think about it, okay?"

"Okay…" Jill mutters. Samus then leaves. Jill then dives in, sighing.

In Jill's room, Jill in on her bed in a ball. She had a worried look on her face. Doug came in. "Jill, honey, you okay?"

"Well, sort of," Jill replies. "Dad, I don't know whether or not to accept Samus's apology. What do you think?"

"Well, honey, it's not my choice to make. It's yours. You just need to follow your heart."

"This is coming from a thief."

"Said a thief herself." Doug noogies Jill's head and she giggles. "I'm serious. Listen to it and you'll know." He then leaves. Jill looks at her window with despair in her face.

Jill goes to Samus's room. Jill knocks. "Samus?"

Samus opens the door. "Yes?"

"I accept your apology."

"Thanks." Both then hug. Jill then cries. "Jill, are you crying?" Samus asks, crying along with her.

Jill sniffles. "Yes," she says, crying even harder.

"Hey. Jill. How would you like to sleep with me tonight?"

"Really?" Jill asks, still crying, "You mean it?"

"Yes."

"No Snake?"

"No Snake."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you." Jill said, now sobbing.

"No problem." Both go in, holding hands, saying that they are now friends.


End file.
